My Second Marathon

Just about 2 weeks after my first ever marathon I did my second. And it took me up to 7 hours 45 minutes to complete it. Man that kind of timing was worse than the timing I did in KLIM. So how did my second marathon come out to taking 1 hour 23 minutes longer than my first? It was a very interesting race and very interesting long and tiring. The goals were different situation and organization was also very different. But this was more fulfilling.

This marathon was a shopping marathon. I did it with my darling Charity and we shopped till we dropped. Well it was not all 7 hours walking but more to having lunch and dinner, but we were in such need to find things for our wedding and determined to do so that we made sure we could find it. But the craziest thing is that we shopped for 7 hours but we did not cover all the shops there. Literally there is 2 days of shopping there if you intend to visit and shop in every store.

The longest day started with lunch celebrating Matthew’s (Charity’s brother) birthday. Popeye’s was the place and Fried Chicken was the game and boy was it good!!! Fried Chicken never been so big and mashed potatoes never tasted so good. LOL what a big surprise it was for Charity’s family. They are so used to small portions and KFC and this is such a great change to have such a wonderful meal with them we sat there chatting and chatting and laughing and it was a good family dinner.

Then we walked around not looking for something in particular, but something happened and it changed the course of things. Suddenly in the course of us looking for knick-knacks in a store Charity’s mom called she found the dinner dress for the other wedding dinner we are having. So off we dashed to see what she had in mind and when we entered the store I was certain we would stay for a while. Here I must make mention that malls these days have become more male friendly and store have become that way too. They have begun placing seating avenues in their malls and stores I believe mainly catering for males having have to accompany their other halves to search endlessly through dresses and accessories for the perfect ‘thing’. But for Lionel such things are not an issue I do like shopping too, and so I stayed with her throughout the search for the dress and we found a beautiful dress. I won’t attempt to describe it, but will ask you to look out for it in our wedding blog…

Right after spending about an hour in that one stall the frenzy began we started in search for all we need for the photo shoot. My out fits and her outfits especially shoes. So zip we went round stores of shoes for her and clothings for me and before you know it I announced to Charity: “Congrats Dear, we’ve actually just done a marathon!” That marked the 6 hour 30 minute mark. And by then my legs were aching. It felt as though I really ran a marathon. And we continued for another hour before breaking for dinner. All in all we didn’t spend much but found really cheap clothings. But my outfit isn’t finished yet. The shoes I need for the wedding (since mine is broken – my formal shoes has given way) and the shoes needed for the photo shoot (a brown loafer or something like this:

and lastly a flowery shirt for a picnic.

At the end of the day I had a great time and I think I broke the record for most men in the time hey spent shopping. I’m glad I did it with Charity but if you ask me to do it again I would reconsider seriously. I guess despite the fun and shopping I really did have a good workout. I slept very well that night. And in the end you can say I did do a second marathon – a shopping one, maybe you can call it the Pyramid marathon. LOL.

42.195

Was it necessary? Many have asked me what it was like, some ask why do it? Some asked me do I love running and why and some asked me how it felt… this attempts to just answer how that is like and what it was like for me. The experiences may vary from individual to individual but this is my personal journey, this is my story.

It all begins on a Friday night somewhere 4 months ago… or was it 3… but it began when I signed up. Wilson Wee and I planned to run a marathon but this was kinda soon. But seeing that the organizer was Standard Charted (we thought it was the same organizers as the Singapore International Marathon), we registered and decided to gear ourselves up for the run.

We have never really ran considerable distances. The furthest I ran is 23km at that moment so taking on a 42.195km was daunting and I was so not ready for it but I thought that in 3 months I could do it.

Training began and I found a weekday night to add additional runs and it seems everything was good. I was building millage and fitness was up I was getting tired as I was pushing the envelope in my body and it felt good. I was getting slightly thinner and I was feeling good about the race.

Two months passed and I was not ready and I was not exactly in perfect shape in terms of millage. But as time drew near I was also trying to really balance everything… something I can’t really do. Balance is not something that ADHD people do very well but for me it is also amplified by my personality and the situations around me. But training still continued and I believe I got fitter and as race day approached the pressure to perform is really mounting. And I got really nervous. The thought of not running came to my mind even if I registered…. I’m glad I didn’t opt out.

Two weeks before the race… I finally broke the 25km mark and I felt really good breaking it, but sadly I would not be able to break the 30km mark to get my body ready and mind ready for the race. The week before the race I rested really well maybe too well but time did not permit for me to really squeeze me anymore runs to help my body stay sharp. Mentally though I was struggling and nervous. And even if she doesn’t know I think that Charity my dear felt my nervousness and she was worried and really struggling to be positive about the run. And honestly I was too.

The night before the race I mentally made up my mind though I was nervous but there was so much things to settle before the race and I had so many ways to stretch myself. I didn’t think I was ready and I had to take my youth group out because there was one original chaperon that can’t make it. At last I could not sleep early. So I had to sleep in the afternoon, hoping it will help. And although I loved the time with the youth I just could not shake race fear from my mind.

11pm the night before the race and I still was not asleep. My stress levels and worry levels were rising though the roof, and I was getting frustrated. But finally at 12 I managed to sleep but I was to be up by 3… would I have enough rest? Will my blood pressure really go through the roof when I run? I was worried… but God blessed me with extremely good sleep. I remember whispering a prayer in spite all my swelling thoughts and worries for God to give me a miraculous sleep, and he did. My sleep of three hours felt like 8. And wow when I woke at 3 I felt fresh. And as we made it to Dataran Merdeka the start line of the race I had butterflies flying like sparrows in my stomach. Gosh was I nervous.

At this point I must comment my disappointment with the race organizers. It was terrible and the fact that Standard Charted was a well known race organizer was so so disappointing. The race collection day was a mess and the entire system was just unreasonable. Not to mention the volunteers were not helpful and just made a mess out of things. This of course added on to my fears. Will they be able to fulfill their promise and take care of us runners? What about those that really are slow like me? And I was right water stations had no water throughout the race especially from kilometers 23 or 24 all the way to about 30, the medical personal were not at their positions, there was no relief or ointment for cramps at almost all stations I only got at 2 stations. I literally had to beg by standers for help throughout the race. And what more the planning of the route was not bad but the placement of things were. Sponging stations in the beginning of the race is valueless as there is no heat of the sun beating down on the runners. It would have been good at the 25km onwards, fruit stations were at the 15^th kilometer… what was that about? Fruits should be at the 25 onwards where we really needed sustenance. Leave it to non runners to plan it, clearly they did not ask Singapore for help or things might have been better. Did the organizers run the route or sat in their nice air-conditioned cars and just viewed the race? Did the sponsors check to see if the water stations were adequate? The capacity of the race was so small compared to their counterparts in Singapore which hosts 40,000 were only at 12,000 and we cannot cope. Shamefully and painfully they make a marathon painful and a fear, and their ridiculous planning hurts people more than they help. Opening the roads at 6 hours when the race timing ends in 6 hours. What about late runners. Could they have held the road for one more hour to help keep the runners safe? Runners run at their own risk but did they consider that as organizers their job holds longer than that? If the City council doesn’t agree then I would say for 12 years organizing or hosting a marathon more wisdom should have been there. Officials were not wise or sensitive to anything but just had a Malaysian mindset of setting things and not caring what the outcome is. GENIUS!!! They clearly do not know the joy of running or completing a marathon, they obviously do not have the runners welfare in mind especially the slower runners, do not only care for the faster runners but ALL runners. Are you saying we are not valuable or worthy to be cared for?

Back to my story of the race. At 4.45 am after all the final stretching I get into the race pen and thus begin the longest run of my life. As the blessings of God poured to cool the beginning of the race, I heard a comment that it is actually a small turn out compared to other races, but it’s alright I’ll still have fun. *bang* the gun fired and off the race went. Summarizing…. I struggled the first 10km which I could not understand picked up the second 10km, struggled the next 10 due to dehydration and poor organizing from the organizers and crawled through the last 12km.

I was in so much pain I cried as I approached the finishing line. The pain so immense that every step was like knives stabbing into my legs at every joint and tendon. Cramps were plaguing me and every movement excruciating on my muscles. But I resolved to finish and finish strong and that was what I did. I collapsed when I crossed the line, but I did it.

Why then was it necessary for me to do this? Because I learnt invaluable lessons in it.  I learnt the power of a human will that can carry you through even the toughest situation, in today’s simple and convenient life there is no test to the will and no one is willing to put themselves through pain. I just needed to see what I am made of, and I know I am better than I thought I am, not one now can tell me less, I realize my weakness but see more will and strength more. Funny how the will of man can overcome even the most difficult situation when his heart is resolved.

It learnt the power of going through hardship and how it brings people together. For us who finished slow, or struggled we came together. Put men and women in a position where there is lack and difficulty and you will see them come together and pull each other through. I witnessed it first hand when an elderly runner helped a young runner through the last 12km despite a severed cramp. I saw runners encouraged each other even when there was nothing left in them, I saw people reaching out to complete strangers in need just because they were able to spare just a little bit. I saw ego put aside and humanness laid bare, I saw the essence of kindness, known what a good Samaritan is, I saw friendship experienced the shame of begging and the shame of my own culture (no one from Malaysia cheered of us runners – maybe expect a girl I call “nice shorts” girl). I experienced the strength of the human soul and pain of knowing that you can be defeated. I experience what it is not to give up and the pain of enduring even when you can’t go on. I known what breaking the limits is, or teetering on the edge of giving up and hanging on. And I known what it means to set yourself aside for others sake and to see them be a friend, true friend even though for a while.

I learnt what Paul said to ‘beat your body and make it your slave’ I learnt what it meant to keep your eyes on the prize, I learnt the joy of completion and how it felt when a multitude, of people who have walked and ran the same journey you did felt your pain cheers you to the finish line. And what a glorious thing it will be at the gates of heaven.

I want to write every experience down but I think I will have to split it up. This is for now. I hope it answers why it was necessary for me to go through such a torture to my body. I hate the organizers still, but despite all that nonsense I saw the human spirit prevailed and in all its beauty. That to me was worth the pain and worth the race despite all the biggest flaws.

Rutt

I’m alone, confused, tired, sick. I’m struggling, I’m Isolated, I’m Angry, I’m tossed to the side, inconsidered. I’m insignificant, shallow, slow, I’m ugly, I’m Fat, I am unwanted.

I am just a passing matter that does not impact anyone. like a spec of dust landing in a room, it changes nothing, it impacts nothing, it isn;t significant and meaningful at all. I change nothing in the things around me, i do nothing good, nothing is right.

Having It Back Is Good!

You’ve always heard the expression of rentals right? how they are like unreliable and they are not comfortable and not your own so you don;t feel right?

Well i had that experience recently with my computer. it crashed and was giving me too much problems. so after much delay and procrastination, i finally sent it in for repair, and to my utmost horror began a long and often rather irritating experience. i didn’t know it took so much patience dealing with rigid and often rather lacking in tact workers. HP is a good organization don’t get me wrong, but their service and some of their staff is rather questionable. like how they call all the time, unceasingly just to tell you that they are formatting your computer when you told them the problem and that you would like a reformat since the system recovery is not helping. and how they call to ask if they called and to update you of the thing that the other guy just called to tell you. effecientcy is one thing but its like they have nothing better to do? It may be good for some but i found myself loosing my patience answering their calls.

Then finally despite the constant calls, I have recieved the com back! Yay! and now is the long process of setting it up with the essentials i need.

But i must say using Lei Ngoh’s spare Laptop for the period was nice, her com seemed to have higher specs. but it was like it didn;t beling to me. but when i touched the keypad of my computer there was a sense of belonging like my fingers knew it, how my fingers could fly and type what i need with relative ease and not needing to look where everything was, as compared to Lei Ngoh’s Dell.

One thing is for sure, It’s good to have Lappy Back!

VOCA

This is amazing i first heard it near 3am one morning working hard to finish certain deadlines and i came across this video that was sent by a Pastor friend.

The amazing limits that men has been given by God. and how if harnesed is really amazing. Watch it and be amazed!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6EYrqIn0yI

Never Gonna Stop!?

It has been one of the busiest times of the week. And there has been so much happening in this season of my life that I never knew can happen. But it did!

But I learnt from a little stupid even of a little stupid dog, that nothing can really stop me. Leroy, my little tiny miniature Doberman Pincher is a fierce but really miniscule dog. A Champion breed but a tiny dog. He however thinks he is as large as an actual Doberman but sadly he is pretty much like 10 times smaller.

Thursday morning found me waking up to a very unpleasant surprise. I came out of my room after getting ready for college and saw my dog in a bloody mess. Literally blood soaked and in shock. Then I heard the news that he charged a pack of dogs! Why he did it I never can guess, but the fact that he did it and is in this shape tore my heart, although I felt it was so stupid of him and he deserved it.

But it thought me one thing: nothing should stop me from doing whatever I need to. I believe Leroy felt the need to defend his turf, or felt the need of making the places safer for him and his pack which consisted of another silly and small dog  – Lex, my father and I. and in many sense a dog is never small enough to defend his home, or his family. I run and track in Kota Kemuning and recently when I went tracting for Shoestring Run a charity run that we’re organizing, no dog was too small to defend the home, almost every home that had a dog was vigilant of this stranger approaching the place of refuge that held its family. And when I seemed to breach the barrier they would try to chomp me. But of course I was within the safety of them being behind a gate. But the vast array of dogs kept in KK showed me that a dog is never stopped from what he needs to do.

I for one complain and like many find ways to get out of what I need to do. But they showed me one thing. I must never stop, or let nothing stop me from what I need to do. Strategy is questionable, especially that which was shown by my little soldier dog. But essence was more endearing.

Leroy is recovering now. I just came back from seeing him and helping dress his wounds. He is recovering well. And that the other thing, we will fail, get injured and badly hurt, even if it is near fatal. But we can bounce back. It’s hard, and it hurts, but bounce back we can and we should. Remember this should be our motto, it is mine now: ‘Never Gonna Stop!’

Utterly in Need of a Overhaul

I’m created perfect right? or I am supposed to be. But I’m not. Some times I wish things would turn around for me , that I’ll be different. That things about me would be nicer. If i could genetically alter myself to be without these traits then i would gladly do it.

How can I overhaul myself? i am in need of a major overhaul of the mind, of the character of my spirit of how i do everything. i need a change. Am I under attack or am I just being cyclical? how can i really change?

Overhaul ME!!!

Mud? Really?

Here is a thought I had while doing my assignment:

We all heard the story of the creation right? We know he made us out of the dust of the earth. Now I don’t mean to make a mockery of things nor do I mean to really be skeptical, but I want to be honest. I’ve read the narrative of the creation of man like a million times now (well not literally) but since I have been doing my God, Revelation and Men I really start to ponder a few things. Especially in the creation of man, we don’t have exact records nor do we have exact details in the records that we have. And that’s what gives rise to this question how did God make man out of the dust of the earth?

Have we seen the dust in this earth? It’s soft and dispersed; you can never really keep it together, what more mould it and shape it into a person. Well I can understand mud, wet dust and dirt together and mix it with water we’ll get – mud, or Clay!!! Now that’s an awesome molding material. Soft, and flexible yet when it stay together very well.  

But here is the next thing that boggles me. We’ve seen clay structures and clay statues, they get all the details of the outside right, so I can see how God did it. No problem for him, if he can mould mountains and carve trees design animals and paint sun sets then molding the appearance of men is easy. But for all the knowledge in the world I would like to know how the molded the insides of us? Our clay structures are either solid or hollowed, but how did God carve us out, and yet make the minute details? How can he make us so finely out of clay, I mean our veins, our muscles, our tendons, our bones I can get but what about the fine details in our kidneys? How could God do such a thing?

I sat there in my room thinking and I could not shake it from my mind, I’m tempted to turn to science and evolution or anything that can explain it. But the truth is this very simple thing: what is stopping God from not doing it? The truth is that he can. Simple as that. We think and ponder and nowhere in our deepest imagination can we do it. No way could I fathom how God could have done it so amazingly.

What a wonderful miracle, so now when I look in the mirror I really see someone handsome ;P and someone who is fearfully and wonderfully made. Look at your body, so very carefully, maybe you can slowly be amazed at how wonderfully made you are.

What is this life?

Look around us, what have we made ourlives to be?

Honestly I see millions of people running arounnd chasing what? what is all this running around for? why are we sometimes so petrified for? what are we chasing?

Its sad to see sometimes we ae chasing the wind. Never ending string of “A’s”, achievement of success, things; objects that fill our life and homes but don’t fill our soul. What do we think we can achieve by all this? Will it make our life better? Hardly.

We’ve chased too many rabbits into too many holes now we are stuck, chasing things that we cannot catch and just chasing what people say is beautiful.

The question is, can we see beauty that is just in front of us? Can we see the beauty of the sun rise and say Wow, thats worth more than my pay check, instead of concentrating on the jam we are stuck in angry that we might be late for work. Or can we see that beauty of the people around us, the people that love us and thank God for it because no one really cares for us than these people. Can we hear and know beauty when we see it?

Sadly the answer is clear, we don’t know what good thing we have in our lives. That is until it has passed us by or we loose it. Its actualy a sad existance if you see it that way. We work so hard to acquire the things that we think we need, all whilst loosing what we actually need and when it is gone we realise what we really need but can’t get it back anymore, so we try to get again what we trully need, but then loose track and the cycle starts all over again.

Maybe we need to make the earth stand still, throw away all these ‘burdens’ all these ‘wants’ see things differently.

This reminds me of a article i read, it basically states: in an ordinary setting, where everything is un assuming, will we see beauty?

The sad answer is no. we fail to see the greatest beauty that can be right in front of us.

Maybe its time to appreciate beauty from now on, life would be so much more beautiful, don’t you think?

I’m Back

I’ve decided to try writing again. It has been two months since I wrote.

I guess I have so much on my mind and so much that happened. My proposal, my holidays with Charity, Visiting Wedding Fairs, there seems to be so so much that is going on, I just put my blog and writing on hold, althought there is so much on my mind.

But, I am going to write again i think i must and should, or I’ll get rustier.

LOL so look out, there more to come… definately more to come.